Saying Goodbye

For almost nineteen years, minus a few summers apart, Sebastian was my most faithful of companions.  I tried to count all the places he and I had lived in, and I think the total rings in at thirteen different homes.  That’s a lot of moves together.  It’s hard to believe he won’t be making another one with me, wherever our next PCS takes us.

Sebastian went downhill very quickly last week.  He stopped eating and told us in every way he could that it was time and he was ready.  Although there were probably a few things we could have done to keep him alive for another few days, or maybe even weeks, something I read on a CKD site really resonated with me and helped me make the decision to put him to sleep.  I don’t remember the exact wording, but it was something like: if I do nothing, I’m not prolonging his life, I’m prolonging his death.

On Friday, Domingos took off work and we went in to our vet’s office at 11:30.  Our regular vet was on vacation, but the woman filling in was very professional and compassionate without being invasive.  She did an excellent job of explaining the entire process and letting us know what to expect.  We stayed with Sebastian as he was given a sedative, and about five minutes later, he was given an overdose of anesthetic.  It was very quick and very peaceful, and he showed no signs of suffering.  It’s hard to get that last image of him out of my head, with the light gone from his eyes, but I’m glad I could be with him all the way to the end so he didn’t have to die alone.

In some ways, the day and a half leading up to it was harder than the aftermath.  I have no doubt that we made the right decision, and that helps.  Watching a creature you love suffer is harder than giving them that final gift of peace.  I’ll always miss him, but I’m glad I had so many wonderful years with him.

0 Replies to “Saying Goodbye”

  1. That violin (viola?) case picture is one of the best pics you’ve ever taken. He was SUCH a good cat! More and more love and hugs.

  2. I’ve read your ‘When Your Cat Gets Old…’ post last week. I was so touch by it because one of my cats, almost 19 years old, passed away last July.
    Now I feel sad reading that Sebastian passed away. It’s always so painful giving up such a loyal companion. Take care.

  3. I’ve been reading your posts and I really liked what you said about prolonging death, not life. It is how I felt when we had to say goodbye to my cat, Harry, a little over a year ago. I still miss him, but there was no way to keep him with any quality of life. I know you will miss Sebastian, but I think you have many memories and photos to help you remember him.

  4. I’m so sorry for your loss of Sebastian. Saying good-bye really hurts right in the heart and although time helps, you still miss them and home is just different. We are huge animal lovers and know how sad it can be. 19 years is a long, long time together and that is a real testament that you were a good Mommie to him.

  5. So sorry to hear about your loss, Anjali. We like the pictures of Sebastian in your viola case and on Domingos’ back. Very sweet!

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