For almost nineteen years, minus a few summers apart, Sebastian was my most faithful of companions. I tried to count all the places he and I had lived in, and I think the total rings in at thirteen different homes. That’s a lot of moves together. It’s hard to believe he won’t be making another one with me, wherever our next PCS takes us.
Sebastian went downhill very quickly last week. He stopped eating and told us in every way he could that it was time and he was ready. Although there were probably a few things we could have done to keep him alive for another few days, or maybe even weeks, something I read on a CKD site really resonated with me and helped me make the decision to put him to sleep. I don’t remember the exact wording, but it was something like: if I do nothing, I’m not prolonging his life, I’m prolonging his death.
On Friday, Domingos took off work and we went in to our vet’s office at 11:30. Our regular vet was on vacation, but the woman filling in was very professional and compassionate without being invasive. She did an excellent job of explaining the entire process and letting us know what to expect. We stayed with Sebastian as he was given a sedative, and about five minutes later, he was given an overdose of anesthetic. It was very quick and very peaceful, and he showed no signs of suffering. It’s hard to get that last image of him out of my head, with the light gone from his eyes, but I’m glad I could be with him all the way to the end so he didn’t have to die alone.
In some ways, the day and a half leading up to it was harder than the aftermath. I have no doubt that we made the right decision, and that helps. Watching a creature you love suffer is harder than giving them that final gift of peace. I’ll always miss him, but I’m glad I had so many wonderful years with him.